Second Best Forever
by Prelude in Indigo
Summary: There was no love at first sight, no mythical spark. Only an understanding, but it was enough. Maybe the road to happiness would begin at knowing she would never hurt again. Maybe... second best was all that he could ever have. Angst/Romance ONESHOT


**Well, this is a really cute little Gakuen Alice oneshot. Hopefully it will stay that way, because you guys know how hard it is for me to keep up just that one story, lolz. :3**

**Well, anywayz, this is an adorable little angst spoof... from one of our most beloved characters. Just see if you can guess who it is... Okay. I admit it- it's kinda obvious, lolz. There's really only one guy who hates himself that much in the manga. But still, if you guess it, Ima give you... VIRTUAL COOKIES!! =^.^= Yep, you heard me. Cookies made out of pixels. They're delicious and nutritious!! =P**

**Enjoy!**

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A soft wind stirred the air, giving off the faint scent of flowers. A still form lay softly, painting a silhouette of shadowy black against the pale spring sky. The boy's soft hair lightly blew across his face, brushing over the surface of his pale eyelids. Long black lashes softly kissed his delicately translucent skin. Light pink lips parted slightly, breathing in to taste the sweetness of the scent of flowers. The wind came again, more strongly this time. The flowery smell strengthened, growing into… cherry blossoms.

He sighed, tilting his head back. Had it been anyone else, most would have been worried, but for him, this was simply normal behavior. They had all long been used to it. Still, it was a mixture of courtesy and worry that drove his best friend to inquire after him as he opened his eyes to reveal a deep and chaotic color that strongly contrasted his otherwise pastel appearance. The boy was a statue, something made of cold, hard, unbreakable stone.

But, somewhere inside him, a warm and hurting living heart beat.

An abrupt nod was the only answer the unfortunate best friend was to get. The pale skinned boy turned his head to hide the pain that filled his eyes, a deep and interminable suffering that would last as long as he could love. Why was it that every time he sat here, it only brought back memories? He had never wanted to fall in love. He had tried so hard. But, yet, the girl had managed to capture his heart; no, she had taken it from him, and every time he tried to wrench it back, it only secured the hold that she was so unaware she had. And so, he sat here, having given up. He knew that the boy next to him loved her also, and he also knew that she would always prefer his soft and gentle nature to his own rude and teasing one. She deserved so much better than his cruelty; and he intended that she should have it.

He wasn't good enough for her. He was never destined to be a part of her happy ending.

A sharp gasp of breath from the only friend who would always care for him provided all the warning he needed. He turned, curious, although he knew already what he was going to see. Rich in color and filled with emotion that was expressed nowhere else, his eyes skimmed her face to see the soft and rich yet subtle color of her hair, once so common to him, that now he came to treasure, the soft _whoosh_ of her small nose, and her smiling perfect lips. She was so beautiful that it made his heart hurt, because he knew her beauty would never, ever, belong to _him_.

The girl turned, and his chest tightened in anticipation.

Upon seeing the pair, she broke into a run, rushing for them and tugging the poor girl whom she loved so much after her. His eyes widened and he stood, placing one scarred hand in his pocket to compliment his slight figure. The other boy stood also, looking forward to her with wide and expressive eyes and a nervous smile. He was always so good at expressing whatever the other could not. Both watched with the same expressions as she arrived, the other girl staring uninterestedly with bored eyes.

_She_ looked at him, smiling, probably wishing for him to speak to her, but not because he was special to her. Just because she cared about everybody. Even so, even though it was nothing special, his heart stopped for a second and his head froze, a tiny flicker of hope springing up in him. It was gone again in an instant.. He turned away, imagining the flicker of sadness in her eyes as he ignored her once again. Just as he thought, the girl dismissed his stand-offish attitude to speak to the boy at his side, and his heart broke all over again.

He had only been deluding himself the entire time; she had never loved him, never would, and it best that war.

Something inside of him ached while he watched the animated expressions on her face, that same happiness, none of the anger or hurt that _he_ always caused. Why could he never make her smile like that, no matter what he tried to do? It didn't even matter anymore; he'd given up a long time ago. Even though it caused him devastating pain and he knew that the decision would haunt him forever, it was better to let them be happy with each other. He would only bring harm to her. He could never make her happy the way that the other could. The boy with eyes that burned with fire would never, ever, deserve that girl who loved so freely. Perhaps… the road to happiness would begin at knowing she would never hurt again.

And a long, long, road it was destined to be...

The girl next to him also watched, and he thought that perhaps he detected a flicker of something there too. Envy perhaps? Longing for the boy who her best friend loved? Rage at the girl who had taken his heart prisoner also? Whatever it was, it was so similar to his forlorn and forsaken expression that it was hard to believe he was not looking into a mirror. Her eyes strayed to his also, pools of profound emotions which you could never see unless you searched. They simply looked at each other for a long moment, both seeing the other reflected back at them.

There wasn't any spark. No magical and mythical connection that formed between the two, no instant love, nothing. It wasn't love even. Simply a connection was forged. An understanding of each other that was formed of knowing what they wanted the very most would never happen, and that perhaps second best was all that they could have.

It wasn't a spark… but it was enough. The next stretch of emotion that would lead them halfway to happiness had been found. They looked at each other… and the girl smiled a tentative and half there smile. In return, he ceased his endless scowling… They both walked away from the much happier pair behind them. Neither of them looked back in reality, but still, it felt like the last shred of hope was being ripped out.

And, unbeknownst to the boy who had lost it all, the girl who would never ever love him, the girl he had given up, was thinking almost exactly the same thing.

It didn't matter though. He'd given up his heart a long time ago.

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**There. Now wasn't that just tragical? And angstical?**

**Lolz, I know it's kind of cracky... but yeah, I was thinking... what would the slighted one (Ruka or Natsume) be feeling right then? And how would the slighted girl's happily ever after work out? SO... this was born. A fic where a boy has a best friend and they both love the same girl, but the boy thinks that the girl likes his friend better and gives her up. Unbeknownst to him though, the girl really does like him better, and is too shy to tell him. The boy, knowing he can't have her, settles for her best friend who was in love with _his_ best friend. And nobody's happy in the end. =(**

**I tortured poor... Ruka/Natsume there, huh? =P Soo, try to guess the various pairings!! They're easy, but oh-so wonderful! And tragical!**

**PEAAAACE~desu, Anna out!**


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